Letter to Paul B, March 23-24, 1919

[Received April 13, 1919]

1211 Dakota St. Danville Ill. March 23(24), 1919

My Dear precious Boy:- With a very sad heart I begin another letter to you. never since you have left the old "roof tree" has my heart and mind undergone such anxiety as the last two weeks. For tomorrow will be two weeks since Cecil received her letter from you telling of your cold on your lungs. And nothing later has been received from you -- I mean that was written later for my last letter from you was received on Tues. but written 3 days earlier - on the 17 of Feb and hers was written the 20. Could I but only know why we didnt get a letter last week. for it seems that you would have written in a few day again if you didn't get bad sick. for surely you would know that I would worry about you. I sometimes turn almost numb with such an overwhelming feeling of suspense and uncertainty of your condition

Mon. Morning 24, Well you see I didn't get very far with my letter writing last evening. Will tell you what side tracked me. Beginning with yesterday forenoon. I was feeling so dispondent concerning your condition physically and mentally so I did my morning work, took my bath and went down to Rifes to get your letter to Cecil, to see if I could read into it a little more hope - or read out of it some things that I have allowed to worry me almost sick for if the letter had been here I would have done with it what I do with all my own - would have read it almost daily I suppose. So I ask Cecil to come along home with me it was then 11 o-c I told her she could spare that much time as I was going to class and she could come on home as I went to class so that gave her over two hours with me. I told Sr Rife that I would have her (Cecil) eat dinner with me, which she did. It was the first she had been here since New Years day. And I was anxious for her to hear our phonograph which she enjoyed immensly. And come to find out we have records of pieces you and her played together. which surely will endear those pieces to me. Any thing I know you like or have had any thing to do with is so much sweeter to me. Now I will name the 2 pieces in peticular. Trauerei (Dreaming) The other side of record is Le Cygne (The Swan) I forget whether Cecil said that was any thing you ever played together or not but the former she said you played together These pieces are played by the Cello instrument with a piano accompaniment and say buddy they are pretty pieces. Cecil thinks our selections are fine. I think so my self to be sure we have some funny pieces - but just two I think is all the funny ones we have daddy wants to get some darkey songs and Uncle Josh pieces so of course that is alright for he enjoys them and I do to at times. And the other piece she said you and her played together is a Hawaiian piece is "Aloha Oe" it is a pretty piece played in its native instruments of which it is produced on record and our machine certainly is adapted to those lovely strains. Aeolian means music of the air and I havnt heard an instrument that strikes a cord in me like the Aeolian Vocalion phonograph does - not just because it is ours for we could have had any kind we wanted. for daddy started out to get what suited us. But this one, to my notion is ahead of others. But we dont say it to others -- nor to Arthurs for I want every one to be satisfied with their own. It is like every other thing one buys, get what suits you. And one should not show any prejudiced disposition regarding other peoples choices.

Well dear boy I am hoping & praying you are well and feeling much better both physically & mentally. for to feel so homesick or discouraged as you seemed to be in your last letter to me & her too, makes me feel so bad for you. You have kept up such good spirits all a long. I have been amazed at times of the way you kept up in spirits always making the best of every thing When a fellow gets sick physically and then to be homesick too is a dose most hard enough to upset any one. But if you get the news concerning the returning Soldiers as soon as we do, - which I would think you would. just 5 days after you wrote Cecil on the 20 of Feb. there was a list of National Guard Div. scheduled to come home during the spring. Your div. is to come in May. so I am in hopes you have seen the silver lining to the dark cloud that has been hovering over you poor boys so long. Yes dear boy I can comprehend how these days of waiting has been harder on you by far than days of action. I said right in the beginning that the boys who had seen the awfulness of war, and had been under such a strain of mind and strength should be the ones to be sent home for they were in such a womant [sic] condition that nothing but real rest at home would ever help their poor nerve wracked condition. I do feel that is one of the cruel mistakes of our war officials. But as we already know war is cruel and every thing that goes with it. You spoke in your letter of a man doing any thing without compulsory - of course I knew you meant war as that was what you were writing about. Well I recalled the morning of the day you enlisted of how you argued your case of going so you could pick your place. and how if I didn't consent you probably would be made go a little later and be put just any where they were pleased to put you. well at that time it did look like it would only be a little while till all from 18 - 32 (I believe it was would have to go to training. But as you know the methods they used was different and if you hadnt gone before you had to you would never have seen war or Camp either because you would have been in the last draft which lots and lots didn't even get to camp on account of flu and right away came the Armistice. But honestly Paul I dont believe you would have been satisfied to remain home when nearly every young man went. So many enlisting that didn't get to go by the draft. And too if you hadn't had the chance to go across you would not liked that any more than thousands of others who didnt get across. So if you get home alive and well I believe you will be better satisfied with the way every thing went - even to the patient waiting and every other experiance that has come to you. You will be proud of the part you had in the "world war" No one can point a finger at you not even your draft men. You and thousands of others like you can be proud you volunteered after while Voluntery service may be appreciated more than they now seemingly let on. Well I must go and make a fire in the kitchen stove and get a bite to eat. Daddy has quit eating before he goes to bed so that leaves me alone to eat of mornings. O if you were only here to eat with me. wouldnt that be almost a little heaven on earth - Of course we know here on earth is where heaven is going to be for the human family But I mean we would have a sorter of a foretaste of it, Eh? Well the fire is made. will wait till it gets the stove hot, then I will get a bite to eat. will not wash today. have such a little will dabble out a little the latter part of the week. Last Thur. I was over to Bro. Claggetts again. and brought home some sewing to do for her & children. The rest of the friends are giving them money and as I have no money for my own use in such directions I will do some service which I know I have the opportunity to do better than any other sister, as all have more to do in their homes than I have. While I was out there I walked out to Lake View Hospital to see sister Harris and to see how her boy was getting along as I have told you in a previous letter about him being opperated on for plural trouble. well he is getting along as well as can be expected but cant tell yet just how it is going to go with him. I have sassafrase tea on getting hot I bought of a little boy the other day and it is fine. This is a beautiful morning there was a frost tho last night has been now for several nights. The daffodils at the south end of the house are coming out now you know I wrote you of them coming thru and having buds in the forepart of Feb. I thought may be as they were so awful early that they would be hurt - but they seem to be coming out alright. Returning to the music subject will mention we have "Stick in the mud" (fox trot) and "The Girl Behind the Gun" (Waltz) record played by the Jazarimba band. Then another record is "Hungarian dance" & Spanish dance played by Maximilian Pilzer a violinist they are nice selections. and the record with "Aloha Oe" has on the other side "Hilo - Hawaiian March" Then we have the "Honolulu March" -- "Kanalua Waltz" played by Louis, Ferera & Greenns all natives of Hawaii and are traditional Hawaiian melodies. Then we have The Kilima Waltz -- Moanalua Hula Medley. All our Hawaiian pieces are played by the above mentioned musicians we have their pictures. We have another one "My Honolulu Hula Girl" -- "Manali Ann Ka Makani". am not able to pronounce some of them correctly They are a little too Hulaluly Kululu to say them just right. Well I dont know if I have yet given you the titles of our music or not we have 17 records making 34 selections and besides we have the two little ten centers which are good. Well I will close this letter for I believe I am about to the end of the string. We had a letter from Lee. he said they had gotten a letter from you sometime ago. I am going to look for a letter today from you and will do as I did last week look & look every day. will keep it up till I get some word from you. I am afraid you are in a hospital somewhere as it seems when they once get in one of those places it is so hard for letters to get out from there. but I was in hopes Mr. Taylor would write us if you were sick and taken to a Hospital. May the dear Lord continue to bless and overrule for your best wellfare and a safe return home. Your loving Mother. Write soon